Anxiety brain is like a runaway train that leaves us consumed with perpetual wandering worst-case scenarios and negative emotions that we can’t seem to shake. How do we try to cope with these intrusive negative fantasies? Some of seek certainty and permanent situations or places in life to feel safe and secure. We try to control what we feel we cannot control- by planning. If it’s in our control and we work to make our desired outcome a reality, then the negative fantasy situations won’t happen and we won’t have to deal with the negative emotions attached to their manifested reality, right? It’s funny to read it like this because we know how unrealistic that sounds. However, many of us continue to wrestle with ways to mitigate the ugly feeling and pattern of anxiety. In truth, anxiety is a joy thief that keeps us from the best gift we have—this moment.
Planning in life is good, don’t get me wrong. It’s important to have goals and to work towards them, whether you have anxiety or not. Dreaming about our goals help us to live a fulfilling life and reach new heights of successes. But living in the now and enjoying the journey is where we are going to spend more time living. Therefore, one can argue that the here and now is more important than our end game destinations. Let’s face it, life throws curve balls at us that we cannot plan for. With anxiety, the idea of these curve balls creates even more anxiety and an ongoing need to find control within various areas of our lives.
So how can we have positive aspirations and goals for our future, have joy in this moment, and do both collaboratively with less anxiety? As a therapist who uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy approaches, I will share some ideas that will require you to go with the grain of being “in your thoughts” and work with your mind to find more emotional peace. Please understand that these suggestions will require ongoing self-awareness, intervention, and maintenance. This in-the-moment mindset that you can adopt can help to make your mind a nice place to be, and help to reduce anxiety, but you will need to continue to work at achieving and bringing yourself back to this mindset.
No place is a mistake. There is a gift in every moment.
All moments can offer us a gift. What determines whether a moment provides us a gift or not is our willingness to look for the gift. So, start looking for the gift of each moment. Even in the darkest moments, when we feel confused about why something did not work out the way we had hoped, or a situation does not meet a need that we thought it would, there is a gift to be found. At times…
Life’s rejections are redirections.
Sometimes we need some patience and distance to gain reflective clarity on what new gift we have received in the absence of what we thought we wanted. Perhaps we find ourselves in an even better situation...
We can find what we actually want.
When we try too hard to plan what we think we want, we sometimes miss the beauty and magic that happens when we surrender and find ourselves receiving what we actually want, especially things that we did not even know existed or were possible. Life’s unanticipated surprises are also gifts and…
Spontaneity is safe.
Spontaneity can feel like a scary concept because it requires a level of risk and surrender of our precious control. However, spontaneity can be a choice. Meaning, choosing to be spontaneous is within our control. Loopholes for the win. When we begin to stay more in-the-moment through spontaneity we realize that…
Mental and emotional liberation from anxiety is possible.
The mental freedom that comes from staying in the moment, can bring a sense of liberation from stagnant and rigid thought response patterns that created by that runaway anxiety train. Once you reestablish personal control over your thoughts and begin to work with these perceptions, your emotional experience should follow suit and anxiety should lessen. What’s returned to you in place is joy, rich life experiences, and lots of gifts.
Some thoughts you can ask yourself:
What gift is this moment giving me?
How can I live in the here and now, right now?
What if things work out better than I can imagine or plan?
How can I be more spontaneous?
What If there is a surprise that awaits me?
Do I give myself permission to find mental and emotional liberation from anxiety?
Wishing you the best on your journey!
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